Do overs and turning the clock back…How to heal.

Some times I make mistakes.  For example, yesterday I printed out something for my daughter with an error.  This morning I had to reprint it, except I had to change the computer time clock/date back to datetime changeyesterday so that yesterday’s date printed out.  As I’m changing the date on my computer clock, I thought how wonderful it would be if we could simply turn the clock back on our lives and have a do over.

I would do things so differently.

Except we can’t turn the clock back.  I can’t change choices I made in the past.  I can’t go back and heal wounds from my past.  Or can I?

How do we heal?

  1.  Calendar Healing
    For me the quickest way to heal is to allow the calendar to carry  some of the burden.  What does that mean?  It means that time does heal.  Thirty years ago I was in the midst of a messy and complicated relationship. I experienced great pain.  I felt like I was damaged.  I felt like I would never heal.  The hurt and pain blurred my vision of my future.  Now that time has passed, I can’t even see the scars.  I really don’t think I could have experienced healing in a short period of time.  Mainly, I need to allow God the time to show me how good He is and how faithful He is.  I needed time to allow God to perfect me into who He wanted me to be.  I had to have adequate time to experience God’s love and God’s truth.
  2. Choose to forgive.
    I had to choose to forgive.  I had to say it out loud…to God.  Daily.  For a very long time.  I had to pray for the person who caused me damage.  It took me thirty years, but when I finally was able to speak to the person who I believed wronged me, all I felt was love.  And that love didn’t come from me.  It was a God-thing-kinda-love.  And it really feels good.
  3. Anchor yourself in the future.
    Some of us have gone through really bad times and we feel justified to linger in that pain. We nurture the bad memories.  But we can’t let the past hurts keep us hostage.  We can’t anchor ourselves to our past.  Instead we have to push on into the future and anchor ourselves there. Otherwise, we will start to use those moments of betrayal or hurt, those failures or losses to detain us in the past and it will start to define us.
  4. Allow the past to create something new and good. 
    We need to define our past, not let our past define us. Let’s redefine it and work on it until our past starts to work for us instead of against us. When we can examine what happened in our past, we can begin to learn from it and let it mold our future for the better.  It will humble us, and make us wiser and smarter. It will teach us to take a better read on people, maybe not to be so lenient in this area or not so undisciplined in that area. Or maybe just not to take anything for granted. We shouldn’t let the things that are pulling us or tethering us backwards restrain us, but, rather work at letting these things push us forward to a better place.

My high school youth pastor once said, “Never despise anything that takes you to your knees, never despise anything that makes you better, and never despise anything that drives you closer to God.”