Top 10 Lies We Believe About Ourselves

sad_happy_1So things are pretty good?  Bills are paid.  Kids are behaving.  You and the hubby are getting along great.  House is pretty clean.  You’ve been pretty consistent in managing your time. You’ve even found the time to exercise!  You’re feeling pretty much on top on top of the world and then something pretty small and insignificant hits you.  And it feels like a ton of bricks.  It knocks you down.  When you try to stand back up, it feels like brick after brick is slinging towards you and you just feel like it would just be safer to find some cave to crawl into, than dodge all these bricks!

Well, it happens to me.  This week it wasn’t necessarily a ton of bricks.  It felt like a truckload of manure.  Ton of bricks hit back in 1985.  In 1990 it was huge hole filled with water and I could hardly breathe.  2004 it was a basket of snakes.  All debilitating events, same lie.

Yes, a lie.  A lie that I first started to believe, probably somewhere in my childhood.  Probably at the playground I would imagine.  Yes, the playground.  I came out of the classroom a little later than the rest of the girls.  By the time I got to foursquare game, every square was filled.  I stood there watching the girls hit the ball back and forth between them.  I was patiently waiting my turn.  Waiting for one of the girls to miss the ball, and then I’d get in the game.  But not one girl missed.  That was strange.  Usually they worked pretty hard to get into the number one square.  But not today.  They were gently hitting the rubber ball back and forth to each other, careful to not get anyone out.  I was the only girl in line to play.  And they were trying hard to not let me in the game.

They didn’t want me playing with them?

No.  They didn’t want me there.  And so began the lie.  The lie that I started to believe that I was an outsider.  We don’t want you here. 

Being adopted probably didn’t help, although my parents were awesome at making me feel loved and wanted.

In the 1980s, after high school, I left the security of a group of friends who always made me feel included and wanted.  Trying to find a new group to do things with became a challenge.  Fourth of July came around and I couldn’t find anyone to hang out with. Everyone had plans, including my brother, that didn’t include me.  Yes, I even tried to invite myself….

Sitting on the front porch of my house with my young daughter, we watched my husband and his two sons drive off, pulling his boat, headed to the lake.  There was not room for us.  Well, there was, if they didn’t have to bring along 3 tackle boxes.  My little daughter said, “Why doesn’t Daddy like girls?”  Fighting back emotion I replied, “He loves girls, there’s just no room for us.”  My mind said…he loves fishing more….he loves his boys more….he really doesn’t want us along.

My divorce solidified the lie.  Nobody wants you.  We don’t want to invite you to our family gathering.  We don’t want you apart of our family any more. 

This week I sent a friend request on facebook to my ex-mother-in-law.  Yes, I know…I probably set myself up for this one.  As I watched her accept everyone else via facebook, I was never accepted.  And it has derailed me, once again.

There is good news.  Because of this last derailment, (once I picked myself up and wiped away the tears) I started learning to recognize the lie that’s being fed to me.

Joyce Meyer says it best in her book Battlefield of the Mind,

Our enemy, Satan, attempts to defeat us with strategy and deceit, through well-laid plans and deliberate deception…He begins by bombarding our mind with a cleverly devised pattern of little nagging thoughts, suspicions, doubts, fears, wonderings, reasonings, and theories…He knows what we like and what we don’t like. He knows our insecurities, our weaknesses, and our fears. He knows what bothers us most. He is willing to invest any amount of time it takes to defeat us.

Wow!  I stepped into the trap!  The trap that was cleverly laid out for me.  Luckily I was wearing iron boots…

Strongholds are lies that the devil attempts to feed you, to make you believe. Just because we’ve believed the lie for such a long time, doesn’t make it true.  Just because we’re in the habit of believing the lie, doesn’t make it true.  Simply because the lie is second nature to us, doesn’t make it true!!

If we live our life in a “hit or miss” fashion, just ducking and dodging things, living our life on “auto-pilot” we’re going to get derailed by lies.

So how do we combat the lies?

  1. Prayer.  One of the best aids to freedom is asking God for a lot of help—and asking often.
  2. Determination.  You do need to be determined, but determined in the Holy Spirit, not in the effort of your own flesh. The Holy Spirit is your Helper—seek His help.
  3. Avoid new lies.  The enemy will try to make you think you can do it on your own.  Another lie.  God wants you to seek Him.  We weren’t designed to do it on our own.
  4. Failure is not bad.  Just get back up, dust yourself off, and start again. When a baby is learning to walk, he falls many, many times before he enjoys confidence in walking. However, one thing in a baby’s favor is the fact that, even though he may cry awhile after he has fallen, he always gets right back up and tries again.
  5. Believe.  I believe God. I believe He is working in me no matter what I may feel or how the situation may look. The Lord has begun a good work in me, and He will bring it to full completion” (see ; ).
  6. Be in God’s Word.  If you want to be a success and to prosper in all your dealings, the Bible says you must meditate on the Word of God day and night.

Top 10 Lies

  1. You’re not good enough
  2. No one loves you
  3. You’ll never get better
  4. God doesn’t love you enough to heal you
  5. You’re ordinary
  6. You’ll make the same mistakes again
  7. Something bad will happen
  8. God has more important things to do
  9. Your mistakes are just not worth forgiving
  10. You don’t matter

Being positive in a positive situation is easy. Anyone can do that. But, when we are positive in a negative situation it shows a genuine trust in God and a spiritual maturity that pleases and glorifies God.

“I refuse to be discouraged. I refuse to be condemned. Father, the Bible says that You don’t condemn me. You sent Jesus to die for me. I’ll be fine—today will be a great day. You help me choose right thoughts today.”